I have these fits from time to time where I think I can turn the family seat (Baskerville Manor) from a sows ear into at least an acrylic silk effect purse..
Friday, November 19, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
A new addition to the menagerie
I didn’t buy it, find it, breed it or rescue it, but there it is. A tiny little mouse. Over the last few days there has been a lot of huffing and puffing and sniffing round the kitchen from the three hairiest residents. Tonight a bout of hysterical barking broke out and when I went to investigate I found the so-called wee cowering timorous beastie sitting in state on my granite chopping board. Far from being afraid of the proportionally titanic beasts yowling and bowling below him, he looked more like a mini emperor gazing down on his subjects. That is until I tried to take his picture. With a flick of his tail and a sideways glance worthy of the most high-end A-list celebrity, he squeaked “see my agent” and dived between the fridge and the drawer unit.
Unfortunately for Izzy, who has not figured out that an Old English Sheepdog head is somewhat wider than the almost two inch space, she tried to snatch him on the way down. She’s looking a bit stunned at the moment.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Accidents in the Home
Incident 1
- Toast for breakfast. Inhale instead of swallowing and commence choking.
- Dive to kitchen sink in search of water, bang head off open cupboard door.
- Concerned Canine Companion #1 lunges to my rescue. Still choking
- Step back and only to find CCC# has taken a backup position (right behind me).
- Still choking, drop glass of water and fall on ass.
- CCC#3 licks face with much compassion, while still choking.
- Hysterical laughter clears breadcrumbs from airway.
Incident 2
- Can't be ar**ed chopping onions so invent new recipe for not bland salmon - wrap it in smoked bacon, slop in a load of olive oil and basil and bake at 200. Use pyrex casserole dish.
- Caution: it is not advisable to use an oven when the door is broken
- Caution: it is not advisable to open an oven with a broken door unless you have at least 3 hands
- Caution: oven gloves are a bit too thick to pick up glass or glass-like containers that don't have serious handles on them
- Caution: if you use a lot of olive oil then it won't all be absorbed in the cooking, some of it will float about the pyrex casserole dish and just boil.
- Caution: when there is an interesting smell coming out of the oven with the broken door, don't let the Concerned Canine Companion team into the kitchen. They will just want to help.
- Result: Open oven door which then closes rapidly of its own volition. Lose grip on casserole dish, which drops and splits in half. Olive oil spatters oven, floor and legs (ouch!). Rapid retreat, skidding on olive oil. CCC team lunges to the rescue, human lands on ass (again).
What remained of the salmon and bacon was actually quite good....dogs had a rather special dinner too.
Incident 3
- When attaching a hose to one of those high powered cleaning devices, be sure it really is attached before switching on the device
- The nozzle really should be facing away from you
- It should also be facing away from anything that is not nailed down. This includes nice blue ceramic flowerpots
- Concerned Canine Companion team should not be permitted to wade through ensuing mess and greet next door neighbour in the pristine white T-shirt.
Evolution of the kitchen
Monday, April 13, 2009
Turning a white elephant into a stroke of genius ... sort of
Once home, pausing only to grab the power drill and the rawl plugs, I happily ripped the cardboard off the panel, only to find the packing was minimal and the panels were in fact far too big to fit in the space I expected them to occupy. Checked the measurements again.... I measured centimetres, the bloody panels were sized in inches.......
Then I thought, what the heck, let's just stick them up on the wall beside the table, they'll look kind of nice there... but the new kitchen used to be our garage and rather than plaster walls, they are nice firm concrete or stone or something equally inpenetrable for someone of my minimal home decoration skills.
So now what, bring them back and get a refund? Well, you need a receipt to do that..... wherever it went.. The panels ended up carefully hidden behind the printer table for most of the winter. (So I didn't have to see them and feel like such an idiot..)
Now, prior to the flooding disaster I had a brainstorm about the price of gas heating and got this copper heater/fire removed from the front room. In exchange for turfing the nephew out of his "workshop" as the newly decorated kitchen used to be, we had struck a deal that the front room would be his to install his computer, Xbox etc and for entertaining his mates. The thing is, with the open fireplace, the poor buggers froze their nuts off the whole winter long, and gale force winds ripped through the house everytime the door was left open.
Anyhow, now that winter is "over" and theoretically the weather is getting warmer, it dawned on me that the panels are just the right size to erect across an open fireplace, and with a little double sided tape, are perfect draught excluders. Pity I didn't think of that in December............. :)